I forgot the word.....

Why is it that we are always looking for the word that “doesn’t want to come out”. As we switch to English we want to sound “as smart” as we do in our native language. Somehow, to a lot of us, it means finding the perfect word to translate the word we are thinking about in our mind.

What would happen if instead of having those awkward pauses while we “search for that specific word in our head”, we’d just explain the meaning of the word or just get over that word and continue to preserve the flow of the conversation?

I believe that the flow of the conversation is more important than the specificity of the words we use. Of course we need elaborate words, idioms and expressions in business settings. However, most of the deep connections with business partners also rely on the flow of the conversations,mails and the good vibes between people.

English has a specific word for almost everything, but we don’t have to know all of them to speak confidently and fluently in English. The stress we put ourselves under while speaking makes us hyperventilate and confused, it usually creates long “weird” pauses in the middle of conversation and actually, doesn’t help us at all.

To get over this I believe we should trust ourselves a bit more. We are highly adaptive to situations and so, we should trust that we can explain the things we know about even if it is in a different language. It has been researched that the majority of what we hear and see throughout our lives stays in our memory. The issue for us, is to retrieve the information and use it when needed.

One of the barriers that make retrieval difficult is stress. Stress paralyzes us and makes it difficult to remember. Furthermore, the stress and anxiety we get when faced with “The English presentation next week or the Donors coming to headquarter for an event”, those, will make it even harder to speak fluently.

Barriers can be overcome. The steps to overcome them and speak fluent, confident English are few.

1. Trust yourself - you got this, nothing really bad ever came from a grammar mistake or mispronunciation.

2. “Let it go” - don’t pause to look for words. If the word is important, explain it with other words, if it isn’t just say “nevermind” and go on with the conversation. Everyone likes people who get to the point and don’t let minor details stop them on the way there.

3. Switch - the moment you start the conversation, presentation or anything else in English, tell your brain “alright, now English only mode”. You will be amazed at the fact that thinking in English isn’t as difficult as you thought and the fluency will be much better.

4. Don’t worry about your accent - Every single person who speaks English has an accent. Yours is special to you and is a part of you. Accents are always nice to hear and bring smiles to the conversation.

The words will come out, you will be understood, everything will be fine… just, let it flow...